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Intricate Tendencies

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23. Chinese. Libra.
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I don’t want to be “nice” just because someone is oversensitive.

— 2 years ago with 2 notes
#nice  #mean  #sensitive  #emotional  #relationship  #relationships 

It’s been 5 years, so I don’t think time’s the answer.

— 2 years ago
#time  #relationship  #relationships  #ex 

how do i help my friend get over somebody that he used to know?

— 2 years ago with 12 notes
#relationships  #relationship  #ex 
the legitimacy of internet friendships and relationships


This is a topic I’ve been discussing on and off for the past month now with a lot of my friends: the validity of relationships we form online. There is a high chance that you, the reader, have Internet friends, or you probably wouldn’t be reading this post. There is also a high chance that you also get grief from other people in your life about your Internet friends, from your parents or your siblings or your offline friends who just don’t get it. Maybe you don’t even feel comfortable telling them about us in the first place. Because they just don’t get it.
To someone who uses the Internet casually, it is full of games and social networking sites and pornography. Said social networking sites are full of people they know offline, too, and they probably don’t spend much time using them, because they could call the person up and make plans to get dinner and talk face to face. To someone who uses the Internet more than an hour a day, sure, the Internet is full of all those things, but it has one primary attraction: other people.
A few years ago, when we were all in middle school, and were supervised by our parents on every website we clicked, MySpace was an empire. But at that point, the Internet was seen as one thing: a group of smelly old men and you. It didn’t seem real that there were other teenagers actually using the Internet; you heard left, right and center about predators and protecting yourself. My first set of Internet friends I met on an AIM icon-making site called Iconator. We exchanged screen names, made collab accounts, and got to know each other. I was sat down every other week to watch an Oprah special about rapists by my mother, who was completely unaware of my (innocent) online life for about six months, before I promptly banned from the computer for a month and my AIM privileges were taken away.
What my mother didn’t realize was this: the Internet is full of teenagers. The Internet also has a lot of creepy old men who are out to sext me, but the number of young adults on the Internet outnumber that twenty to one. I was talking to real people all across the country, real people I was forced to cut off communication with. Sure, I was thirteen, but my online friends knew me better than my best friend, Cami, did, who had known me since fourth grade.
I’m eighteen now. I have different online friends, some that I have known for two and a half years now. Two and a half years! One of the people I know offline that I consider one of my best friends I haven’t been close to that long. I have these deep emotional connections with people that I have never even given a hug when they needed one. I have friends who know me inside and out, friends who I feel like I can legitimately tell anything to. That’s great, isn’t it? I think so.
I have people that scoff at me. I have a mother who still wouldn’t understand that the people I talk to every day are real people with real personalities that are more than just a zip code or a phone number. They are just another person sitting on the other side of the screen, and just because I don’t go to school with them doesn’t mean I can’t understand them or miss them when they’re gone.
I have friends who completely denounce the idea of knowing someone virtually. I think that certain people just don’t translate well online, and then completely write off everyone who does. For a long time, I thought — am I just weird? I have people offline who like me, but they don’t Get It. They don’t get me. And when I met people on here, I thought, hey, I’m not so crazy. There are people out there just like me, and the fact that someone I know can just write that off as nothing is offensive simply because they don’t have it themselves or will open their mind to the idea.
And then there’s Internet relationships, romantic ones. I’ve never experienced one myself, but I’ve watched close friends enter them, successfully. Relationships are first and foremost two people who like each other romantically who want to make it exclusive. And I hear complaints all of the time from people offline about two things: their relationship lacking trust, or their relationship lacking communication. And those are the two things Internet relatjonships need first and foremost. If two people are willing to put in the effort, to communicate, to give each other that trust and not betray it, I don’t think anybody has the right to look down on an Internet relationship.
Internet relationships have been played up for so long as things you can only find on eHarmony or through online predators. I can’t wait for ten years time when Internet relationships and friendships aren’t this awful taboo anymore, and are generally accepted, because this thing called the Internet is really just this hub of people all dying to make a lasting connection. There’s some pornography, too, though.

tl;dr: Internet relationships are awesome and valid and legitimate and if you can’t accept that we can’t be friends. This post is dedicated to Miranda, who inspired me to write it tonight.

Skimmed and agreed. Although I’d argue that ultimately I’d want to meet these people because you can only get to know someone so well virtually. 

(via willayum)

— 2 years ago with 782 notes
#internet  #relationship  #friendship  #friends  #aim  #myspace  #virtual  #cyberspace 
I Am So Tired of Hearing about Introverts


So I’m going to be a hypocrite and devote an entire (though painful) post to the subject.

This isn’t directed at any one person because, apparently, 99% of the people I follow seem to self-identify as an introvert. That’s cool and all but seriously…enough. I get it. You don’t like to socialize too much. You’re thoughtful and quiet. You feel misunderstood by people who are more social than you. Et cetera, et cetera.

But you do realize that you can be every single one of those things and still not have to identify as an introvert? People have their social days and people have days where they just want to curl up at home with their TV and a good movie. There’s nothing wrong with that; however, it does not necessarily make you an introvert either. If you’re unhappy, labeling yourself won’t solve your problem or make you more socially adept. If you feel victimized, labeling yourself will not justify why you act the way you do. If you feel left out, labeling yourself will not attach you to any sort of special ingroup. There is literally no point in carrying around this identity—it’s basically as useful and insightful as a horoscope.

Even worse, it’s dichotomizing a personality trait that functions better as a spectrum than a binary. The general view is that you’re either strictly an introvert or an extrovert, but I think people are little more complex and varied than that. Just like people have different moods for different days, people have different social modes as well. Just because you feel down on some days does not make you depressed; just because you like some alone time every once in a while doesn’t make you introverted.

I think “introvert” is being overused by a lot of people solely for the fact that it’s on Tumblr, which is basically bandwagon central. So just cool it with this whole introversion-awareness movement—it’s frankly one of the least important aspects of who you are in my opinion.

I see myself as an ambivert. Generally I like to be around people, whether or not I actively participate. Usually I listen and react to others in a bigger group, but I can take more control in a 1-on-1 conversation. While I identify several friends as closer to me, I dislike the idea of being lumped into a certain clique, so I hang out with different groups as well. Finally, there are definitely moments where I enjoy my solitude and contemplate on the many things in life. The label can be irrelevant, but understanding yourself and how you interact with others can help you manage your relationships with people. 

— 2 years ago with 23 notes
#personal  #introvert  #introversion  #extroverted  #ambiversion  #relationship →


This is spot on. I’m not pretty but I try to make up for it with my personality. I really do feel bad that when I sit, my stomach sticks out even though it’s not as obvious when I stand. The pictures of all the perfect skin and abs guys on tumblr doesn’t help either -.-. They say that guys come for the looks and stay for the personality. So…how do I get them to come (no pun intended)? No looks here

Honestly, I don’t believe in “oh I really like you just for who you are and not what you are”; it sounds so movie-like. If an ideal relationship is to have both emotional and physical parts, then one can argue that looks and personality are both factors (to what extent now is dependent on the person). Between the nicest person ever who has below average looks and a better looking (which can be average or above) but still pretty nice person? I may still consider the latter (but really, there are so. many. other factors you need to put into the picture other than looks and personality, too… le sigh)

(Source: mikeyxman, via andrewminsoo-deactivated2012050)

— 2 years ago with 512 notes
#relationship  #looks  #personality  #emotional  #physical 
The Downside of Cohabiting Before Marriage →


… Cohabitation in the United States has increased by more than 1,500 percent in the past half century. In 1960, about 450,000 unmarried couples lived together. Now the number is more than 7.5 million. The majority of young adults in their 20s will live with a romantic partner at least once, and more than half of all marriages will be preceded by cohabitation. This shift has been attributed to the sexual revolution and the availability of birth control, and in our current economy, sharing the bills makes cohabiting appealing. But when you talk to people in their 20s, you also hear about something else: cohabitation as prophylaxis…

(Source: michaelguo1987)

— 2 years ago with 5 notes
#cohabitation  #marriage  #interesting  #couple  #relationship 
I have done this. But eventually I realize this doesn’t go anywhere. If you care about the person, then communication is important. As much as you are overwhelmed by your emotions, let your brain tell you that it’s beneficial to get the message across ASAP. That or it means you don’t care about the person enough.

I have done this. But eventually I realize this doesn’t go anywhere. If you care about the person, then communication is important. As much as you are overwhelmed by your emotions, let your brain tell you that it’s beneficial to get the message across ASAP. That or it means you don’t care about the person enough.

(via benjamminteo)

— 2 years ago with 28022 notes
#personal  #upset  #communication  #relationship  #lie